Driver Stories

While driving O’Hare airport this morning, I was getting ready to pull into terminal three and drop off my customer and her Teenage girl. As they approached the end of terminal three I encountered a woman driving an SUV barging her way into the flow of traffic, without any regard for anyone else around her. Here we go again another blonde in a Beemer,I don’t know but can you tell me where it says in the Illinois rules of the road that I have to yield to stupid women in white SUVs. Maybe she just like if I got out and kissed her ass….. just another day.

While working today , I was sitting in terminal five having just put my customer in the back seat, about to throw the car in gear when the suburban taxi comes flying around me parks the car in front of me at an angle while blocking the crosswalk. When I honked my horn at the driver to get his attention an eastern man got out with a very heavy Slavic accent, Probably Russian, Lithuanian, or some version of Polish. And he tried to explain to me how it was my fault that he was parked sideways in the crosswalk, the unmitigated gall of the man screws up and tries to blame somebody else… just another day.

Observing a young woman today, I saw probably the most unbelievable display of either stupidity or conceit. The 20 something young woman was walking backwards into a busy intersection, while trying to line up a picture on her cell phone. The view from the rear was most pleasing -to any red-blooded male, especially in those tight stretch pants she was wearing-but it really did not seem to excuse the fact that she thought the entire world would wait for her to do whatever stupid thing she thought was more important.

If your dumb enough to cut off an 18 wheeler, don’t act surprised when all you see is Peterbilt in your rearview mirror

If you’re driving a subcompact, it’s probably not a good idea to resist three Illinois State troopers, equipped with guns, high speed police cars, and most important a radio to call more troopers.

I was driving southbound on the toll way from O’Hare today; I could not help but notice the fiery red and yellow sunrise rising up slowly from the east. Muted ever so slightly by the pastel blues and grays of the sky and clouds, and silhouetting the magnificent Chicago skyline.

One thought came to mind, as I looked at the hi rise homes overlooking the lake, And I thought ,as in life we all see the same thing, though some of us have a different views.

Ambrose Bierce lived in the early nineteen hundreds, an accomplished writer, and satirist he wrote a book, published in 1906 called The Devils Dictionary. I could never hope to have his skill as a journalist or writer, that said I will make a sad attempt to copy his style a little and bring it into the twenty first century, and hope he doesn’t roll over in his grave, I think he would understand.

The Drivers Dictionary

Terror

Waiting at a light trying to turn, watching as a twenty something blond driving a large S.U.V,hurtling toward you while she’s talking on her cell phone.

Heart Attack

Making a left turn behind a vehicle, and watching as the car stops short of the intersection leaving you exposed to an eighteen-wheel tractor-trailer who is bearing down on you with air horns blasting.